What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!
Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing.
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.
We don't shoot somebody soon, I'm gonna forget how
maybe somebody finally shot the dog.
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