Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear....

Oh, for Christ's sake,' I hear. 'Can we please just try to have a good time?' This is like ordering someone to find you attractive, and it doesn't work. I've tried it.

- David Sedaris

When You Are Engulfed in Flames

attraction humor

Other quotes by David Sedaris

My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you for what you are and you're likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the two hundred political buttons they wear pinned to their coats and knapsacks.

- David Sedaris

All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.

- David Sedaris

Hugh and I have been together for so long that in order to arouse extraordinary passion, we need to engage in physical combat. Once, he hit me on the back of the head with a broken wineglass, and I fell to the floor pretending to be unconscious. That was romantic, or would have been had he rushed to my side rather than stepping over my body to fetch the dustpan.

- David Sedaris

The landscape is best described as 'pedestrian hostile.' It's pointless to try to take a walk, so I generally just stay in the room and think about shooting myself in the head.

- David Sedaris

A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit.

- David Sedaris

but I have no mind for business and considered staying awake to be enough of an accomplishment.

- David Sedaris

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