What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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