I know the Goliath Fucking...

I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet. None of us would leave the house unless a Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider said it was okay

- David Wong

This Book Is Full of Spiders: Seriously, Dude, Don't Touch It

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Other quotes by David Wong

Guys like him, the ones who grip the Bible so tight they leave fingernail grooves, they're the ones who are the most scared of their dark side. Always going too far the other way, fighting for the Lord, often just because it gives them an excuse to fight.

- David Wong

SHUT UP. Both of you. You're coming with me." To me he said, "Put some pant

- David Wong

My melon soulCrushed by your Gallagher of apathy

- David Wong

Tried to escape, to block out the fact that I was being eaten alive by arachnids. For some reason the only thing I could replace it with was the image of being eaten by tiny clowns.

- David Wong

I'm scared David""That's good, because there's lots to be afraid of

- David Wong

When a man plans, a woman laughs.

- David Wong

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